Another Attempt

So tough love didn’t exactly go to plan yesterday, all was going well but then there was no food in the house and one of my best friends was coming to stay so I had to bundle the little monkey into the carseat and go to the store. She thought it was fantastic as I had got her up….the poor wee rascal is about to have another attempt at the routine today.  So far not bad, a few unhappy tears but now asleep in her big cot………watch this space! Im in for the prize today… no giving in no matter how gorgeous she looks with her bottom lip on the bottom of the cot. They say it takes three days to set a routine in stone… I figure by the weekend we will be home in hosed, heres hoping haha.
On a different note but a thought I have been pondering about is…. Guilt. Guilt is a huge new feeling that I have found quite frequently since Eden was born and one that I am slowing getting used to and overcoming.
  • The first time she scratched herself…guilt for not cutting her nails,
  • The first time the plunket nurse mentioned her head was a tiny bit flat…..huge guilt for not doing more tummy time,
  • The time a friend noted her neck wasnt as strong as it should be…..HUGE GUILT for not noticing as a pediatric nurse and again for not giving enough tummy time.
I have to say that the sleepless nights have alot to answer for when it comes to guilt, as a mum you do the best you possibly can. Your entire day is devoted to this one little person and if something doesnt go to plan (ie. like the flat head) and you are tired then the combination is horrific. What I have learnt is to step back and acknowledge the achievements I have had success with since her arrival. To watch her in admiration and look for the cheeky smiles, the giggles, the way she holds my hand and take pride in that all of those things are possible because of me, because I AM being the best mum I can be. I have learnt not to see the weak neck and flat head and let those things be apart of the learning journey that her and I walk everyday. I have to say having a mum like my own has been the real catalyst in me overcoming the guilt and enjoying my job as a mum more. As she would say…”Everyday is a new day”, a saying that throughout my life I have taken great comfort in.  Every morning Eden and I get to start again,  to leave the guilt and worry behind with the old day and begin again. How refreshing.

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About the Author

aimee

aimee

I am a 25 year old pediatric nurse living in Palmerston North, New Zealand. I am married to my childhood sweetheart of 9 years Josh, we married in Rarotonga last year. I am a first time mum.

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