I had the best intentions of having my wee girl set into a routine by the weekend but its here and I dont think we are ready. I haven’t blogged for a few days as life has interupted me, firstly unexpected vistors pleasantly surprising me and then toothache so unpleasantly developing.
Yesterday I took my wee angel to work with me for a few hours at the hospital while I collated paper. I havent returned to work yet but just tying up loose ends for a research study. She was amazing, she laid in the office quietly, cooed and laughed to keep me company and slept on cue. It reminded me of how lucky I am that she is such a placid babe, for most mums this would not have been possible. It also got me thinking about work in general. When is it too early to return to work? How do we deal with the separation and exhaustion when they are only so small? Today, life isn’t the same as fifty years ago, it is unlikely that there are many stay at home mums these days. Maternity leave is usually short lived due to mortgages and expenses that leap at us. Edie is three months old, so dependent on me and so rewarding for me to watch, I don’t know that I am ready to enter the old world of work that once was my entire life. I want to watch, play and teach more with her, I don’t want to miss anything…. yet I dont think that is my choice anymore. The dwindling savings will only allow me to have one more month I think, just over 4 weeks left before my career competes with motherhood. Once upon a time I was devoted to my career, striving and slogging to hopefully become the nurse practitioner that I thought I needed to be but to be honest since having Eden I don’t have the drive anymore, I’m content being the mummy she needs me to be. Never the less I have to go back to work eventually, only part time at least, nervous and anxious about it but another adventure no doubt.
Until tomorrows blog……….xxxxxxxxxx
