As I sit at the computer with a little too much bleach in my hair from a home job, I am pondering the thought of self image. From the minute you begin showing a small abdominal protrusion you become public property, people feel it is appropriate to comment on your size, how tired you look and your general appearance. Even after your wee miracle has arrived people still look you up and down and comment. It seems impossible at times, when you are under the public microscope, to find that positive self image that you had pre-baby. During my pregnancy I put on a very HEALTHY, or not so healthy… 25kgs, within the first week I lost eleven (reassuring that most was fluid). Now three months onwards I am slowly getting my shape back but with added extras such as the stretchmarks and boobs round my knees. Scars that show my hard work and achievement, ones that I can look at fondly and be proud of but ones that on a down day (and there are those) I look at and feel blah. There are times when it is so hard to reconstruct the old you, to wear a smile with those jeans that have a 6 pack of muffins creeping over the top or loving your new bra which could catch birds on the clothes line from its size. Having the most supportive husband helps endlessly but I learnt early on that changing your mindset when looking in the mirror is the key. I have learnt to look in the mirror and see the spritely me that I was before Eden but also see the character my body has built and embrace the change. I am not one who will not strive to reach my original weight, I will return there but the scales aren’t something I run to anymore. It will happen when it happens and in the mean time there are Trinny and Suzannah knickers!!!! I have learnt to give myself a break and enjoy a piece of cake but also a walk, I gave life and this body deserves appreciation marks and all!!! My boobs may never sit higher than my bellybutton and my stretchmarks may always glisten in the sun but with every day that goes by their importance disappears behind the milestones I watch her achieve. There are times when you feel down and the scars and muffins are all you can feel through your clothes, those times are normal and they leave soon after they have arrived, cry a tear if you need but smile after. Our bodies are incredible, my body is incredible.. stripes and all. Embrace it!
